I propose a 3 State solution to the Israel / Palestine conflict.
Rather than implementing a two state solution where Israel coexists with Palestine, which we have seen they are incapable of doing, we should involve a third state. Namely, Utah.
It’s pretty simple, really and I don’t understand why no one has thought of it before.
Just move Israel to Utah. That’s it.
Why?
- The biggest issue here is that Israel would be homeless were it not for Palestinian land. This encroachment on Palestine is the reason for the bloodshed.
- It’s silly to act like there isn’t enough land for everyone when we’re not really using Utah.
- It would give the Palestinians their land back and end the bloodshed, allowing them to rebuild even bigger than before. Then maybe they could actually profit off of things like resorts and TGI Fridays
- The USA is a huge supporter of Israel and has been looking for a 51st state for some time now. Also since they’re cash rich from tarrifs and borrowing Venezuela, they could foot the bill and consider it an investment. The taxes would pay for itself in no time.
- Some believe Israel is a holy land promised to them by God. The same is true for Utah, and if you forget about the whole “who is the real Messiah” debate, they’re both talking about the same God.
- Both are kind of just shitty deserts
- Make SLC the next Tel Aviv / Silicon Valley
- The Great Salt Lake is every bit as cool as the Mediterranean and has just as rich of a history, if not more. The Miditerranean doesn’t even have Great in its name.
- Decrease terrorism in the Middle East while increasing tourism in the Southwest
- The Mormons are seriously so nice they would probably just give the Israelis their homes.
Utah resident here. I fully support this idea, and Idaho is always a nearby threat in case they get too liberal. At least this way we can landlock the insane population, giving them unlimited coasts just made the Aussies more dangerous
It’s silly to act like there isn’t enough land for everyone when we’re not really using Utah.
storing mormons to unleash them at our enemies is a use
yes but mormons are stackable and don’t take up a lot of space in our inventory
don’t you know what mormons do when you stack them? you better not jostle the pile or you’ll have a bunch of new ones.
Can confirm, I thought a family neighbor had like 7 kids. She’s into double digits now
How did you miss the Great Salt Lake / Dead Sea parallels???
am idiot
It would be perfect for them. We have so much empty space because we already finished our genocide!
Fun facts about Mormonism no one ever talks about (not even the Jews, and Mormons themselves):
If you’re baptized Mormon, you’re are adopted into the house of Israel, thus becoming an “adopted” Jew. Organizations like the JDL are well aware of this Mormon belief, yet they don’t seem to care, or maybe they do but choose not to publicize it. For what reason?
Elohim is the name of the Mormon God, although his name is not to be uttered (oops!). The Jewish God bears the same name, amongst various other names, depending on which Rabbi’s argument is presented.
Mormons believe in the city of Zion, as the New Jerusalem, to established on the American continent before near the time of the new mellenium. It’s both a literal and figurative belief.
Related note: Utah is home to the largest NSA data center, where a lot of Mormons get hired to work there. On google maps, they changed the name “NSA Data Center” to “Utah Data Center”. Check out the Google reviews for some insight on what the locals think about that place.
My ex-Mormon ass, cackling at how fitting this would be. Mormons are such Zion-boos, they even name their landmarks the same.
Of course, I think that the Dine-Bikeyah and their relations would be pretty pissed at dealing with even more violent colonizers showing up on their doorstep.
I think Mormons would be so into this. Also, if Israel still wants to do some colonialism, Idaho is like, right there.
Makes sense. But is also a bit terrifying, especially for myself living in eastern Nevada as well as being a Native American. I have many concerns about this proposal…
Is that why Israel is trying to make Gaza look like the Salt Lakes?
Even the most brutally militaristic occupiers and genociders should feel right at home. US does their war crimes in other countries, just like Israel
Brigham Young was right all along about “Zion”. 😂
With the news of Utah planning to replace doctors with AI I feel Israelis and their LLM infrastructure would be more than welcome there.
yeah i agree. only issue that i could see is that it costs money to move.
There shoudnt be an israel anywhere. No one “deserves” to supplant a population and take their land. Zionists have no legitimate claim on anyone or anywhere. They should be treated like the racist murderers they are, and they should live quietly in fear of being discovered as monsters.
They’d also get access to those sweet AI doctors.
