To be succinct and private… My incubator worked me for weeks to build rapport and trust with me in my younger days, to get me to tell her a something that she would ultimately, and immediately use and weaponize against me and others.
This wasnt the first time I tried to have a relationship with her, but it did finally open my eyes and become the last. In the many many decades since, I’ve not so much as acknowledge her existence when crossing paths.
I’m reading this at the moment. It sounds like you might have active abuse rather than detached neglect (which I believe is also abuse).
This stuff impacts us and those around us in the future. From personal experience it’s well worth talking to a pro about it.