That I am going to lose my fucking mind. I have untreated psychiatric issues so it’s not only possible but at some point probable. Every day feels like a roll of the dice but I white knuckle through.

that the constant anxiety and panic attacks are just permanent now, and I will keep losing my grip until I’m living curled up in the fetal position as everything goes to literal shit around me

My most common are also my greatest.

Fear of death of my parents.

The risk of harm to my kids.

The two most dangerous hours a day are going to and from work. I’m just one screwed up human away from death every day. Chances are there are a lot of them that are screwed up.

I speak about half an hour before I think. I’ve fucked up more times than I care to count doing this.

Disappointing others.

I’m a manager for a pest control branch. Mine is someone calling out. Particularly on a Monday. Seriously. That and the sales guys texting me that they all of a sudden decided to go to a different area without telling me beforehand and I have no one near there. Both of these happen all the time but are beyond my control.

Those are just work ones.

For everyday things, I have this crazy tradition that sometimes I procrastinate going somewhere because I have to leave at exactly the right time to avoid a car accident or something like that. Almost like I have convinced myself that the reason I wait a few minutes before walking out the door is because I am waiting for what I perceive to be the perfect time so that the one crazy person driving out there will have either gotten past where I’m going or I will somehow avoid them. I hope that makes sense.

Edit - sorry it double posted for some reason