Hardware store guy: “I’m here if you need any advice!”
Me: “How do I begin to heal from past traumas when my only coping mechanism is fantasization and when the only emotional reaction I have to someone breaking contact with me is validation of my belief that I’m a burden and they are better off without me in their life?”
You begin by finding or making things you love and like about yourself and use that as a scaffolding upon which you can develop self love, before reopening the traumas to heal properly from them. I’d recommend building a deck, maybe with a hot tub and fire pit, it’ll get you moving, be a big project you can really be proud of, and leave you with a nice place to introspect. After that we can swing by the gardening section so you can feel the responsibility of keeping something alive and the joy of having plants in your living space.
Hardware store guy: “I’m here if you need any advice!”
Me: “How do I begin to heal from past traumas when my only coping mechanism is fantasization and when the only emotional reaction I have to someone breaking contact with me is validation of my belief that I’m a burden and they are better off without me in their life?”
You begin by finding or making things you love and like about yourself and use that as a scaffolding upon which you can develop self love, before reopening the traumas to heal properly from them. I’d recommend building a deck, maybe with a hot tub and fire pit, it’ll get you moving, be a big project you can really be proud of, and leave you with a nice place to introspect. After that we can swing by the gardening section so you can feel the responsibility of keeping something alive and the joy of having plants in your living space.