What’s the difference between an Indian restaurant and a Vietnamese restaurant?

I’ve got a knock knock joke for you. You go first.

“Knock knock”

Who’s there?

“ … ”

A skeleton walks into a bar and says “gimme a beer and a mop!”

Two hunters walk in the woods when one of them just falls over, apparently dead. His friend calls the emergency services.

Hunter: Help! my friend just fell over and died in the middle of the forest, what do I do?

Emergency operator: Calm down sir. First you have to make sure that he is actually dead.

A gunshot is heard.

Hunter: Ok, now what?

A man takes a vacation in spain. He asks around for recommendations and finds a small vintage restaurant close to the bull fight arena. It is very full, but he manages to get a seat. He does not speak the language he orders by pointing at a random dish. When it arrives, he digs in and is astonished. The flavor and texture of the meat, the rice, the sauce, just everything tastes breathtakingly good. He asks for a waiter who speaks English and wants to know what he ate. “It is the testicles of a bull, killed in the arena. " the waiter tells him. The man is taken aback at first, but he has to admit that it tasted brilliant. So he comes back the next day ordering the same dish. After the meal, he complains to the waiter: " The food was heavenly again, but why was it so much smaller then yesterday?” He asks. The waiter responds, “You see. Sone times, the bull does not lose”

There are three guys running from the police in the wilderness when they reach a canyon. It’s definitely too steep to climb and way too big to jump.

That’s when the first guy speaks up. “Okay. I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but I’m a wizard. I’m going to cast a spell now.”

insert whatever you want here

“What I just did will make it so that what ever animal you call out next, you’ll turn into it. Follow my lead… Eagle!”

He turns into an eagle and flies gracefully across the canyon. The second and third guy are stunned, but they see lights approaching in the distance. The second guy gets worried.

“I don’t know about all this. He didn’t really tell us about how it worked.” Third guy doesn’t waste any time. “I can’t stand heights, but cops will never suspect a friendly bear roaming around these parts… Bear!”

He turns into a bear and lumbers into the woods to hide. Still not into the idea, the second guy starts running. Faster and faster through the woods. He trips over a rock! “Shit!”