To be succinct and private… My incubator worked me for weeks to build rapport and trust with me in my younger days, to get me to tell her a something that she would ultimately, and immediately use and weaponize against me and others.
This wasnt the first time I tried to have a relationship with her, but it did finally open my eyes and become the last. In the many many decades since, I’ve not so much as acknowledge her existence when crossing paths.
entering my flat multiple times without my consent/knowledge and not leaving when asked to (thanks for the 3h meltdown where I was completly locked inside my brain and couldnt do anything but repeat a few words over and over and rock back and forth on the couch, really liked that one)
ignoring obvious signs of mental/neurological issues in their child (because somehow children cant have those??)
treating our relationship as something transactional
forcing me to do activities i really dont want to, trying to argue away my fears and thinking they “won” after i shut up
I might talk to them again if they write a letter apologizing for atleast something. I havent told them this and i realise that its kind of unfair to set a condition that the other party doesnt know about, but if they dont come to this conclusion themselves then it doesnt feel genuine to me. It really sucks because I have no other people to rely on (emotional and material) but it also kind of was like that before I stopped talking to them, because every favour needs to be repaid or might be used in an argument against me and every fear and concern is argued away.
edit: oh and i realise that some of this is my fault because i really am sometimes difficult to deal with and very stubborn and i try to take responsibility, but at the same time it often feels like I have to work with both of my hands tied behind my back and I wasnt given the tools as a child to do better.
None of its your fault, bro.
Its all theirs for their failure to get you the help you needed much earlier in life, and for being domineering shitbags.
You owe them nothing.
Thats very nice of you to say but I often think of them more as ill-equipped and overwhelmed. I dont hate them and I understand its really hard to reflect on your arguments if your opponent is a literal child who doesnt know better and is dependant on you. Ironicly I sometimes think the people who dont want children, because they are afraid of doing something wrong, would be the best parents but whatever.
they would 100% be better parents, because they are already so concerned about the childs welfare that they are terrified of harming it.
unlike pieces of shit like the parents being talked about here.
I understand that you need to vent and I dont know if you are talking about my parents or yours or just the thread in general, but just in case please dont call my parents that. they are very flawed people yes and they didnt do what they should have, but I havent written everything in my first post and for all you know I could be lying (conciously or subconciously). They tried (maybe their best) but it wasnt enough. Sometimes it just doesnt work out. It just sucks that you, I and the other people in this thread in similar situations have to deal with the fallout.
But you don’t know this.