YOU DID SO GREAT! And look, all the other kids SAW you! Man, they’ll totally forget about you not knowing what a strawman is now. And I’m sure once your dad gets back from that big ol’ bunny farm upstate, he’s gonna tell you the exact same thing!
I’m just so proud kiddo. Now, do you want a blizzard, or one of those seasonal Dilly-bars with the cheesecake crumbles?
…
(Nah but seriously, you sure you’re not gonna stick around? I mean I know, this is kinda an endgame move, I can keep up the supportive sarcasm as a valid retort to literally anything you might say. But this has been like shooting fish in a rhetorical barrel for me… could I pay you to stick around…? Seriously, we’re all gonna miss you, your fun nebraska facts and that characteristic spunkily stubborn refusal to accept reality. Like one of those WWII movies, where the british guy loses all his squadmates and then tries to take down a tank with a grenade, only to get splattered instantly when he moves out of his foxhole. It was a useless effort, he was hilariously doomed from the start, but with the right theme song you get a little teary at his determination to fight to the inevitable end)
My dad’s dead.
Anyway. I think I’m done wasting your time. Good day. Good luck with… Whatever it is that you do.
You’re kinda dumb and full of yourself but I honestly do wish you the best.
🫡
YOU DID SO GREAT! And look, all the other kids SAW you! Man, they’ll totally forget about you not knowing what a strawman is now. And I’m sure once your dad gets back from that big ol’ bunny farm upstate, he’s gonna tell you the exact same thing!
I’m just so proud kiddo. Now, do you want a blizzard, or one of those seasonal Dilly-bars with the cheesecake crumbles?
…
(Nah but seriously, you sure you’re not gonna stick around? I mean I know, this is kinda an endgame move, I can keep up the supportive sarcasm as a valid retort to literally anything you might say. But this has been like shooting fish in a rhetorical barrel for me… could I pay you to stick around…? Seriously, we’re all gonna miss you, your fun nebraska facts and that characteristic spunkily stubborn refusal to accept reality. Like one of those WWII movies, where the british guy loses all his squadmates and then tries to take down a tank with a grenade, only to get splattered instantly when he moves out of his foxhole. It was a useless effort, he was hilariously doomed from the start, but with the right theme song you get a little teary at his determination to fight to the inevitable end)